Looking for Me
I've been lost for 11 years now. Completely off track. Off routine. Off sense of humor. Off passion. Off direction. Off It's not normal. It's my norm, but certainly not normal. It's miserable really. Disorganized and dysfunctional like the stack of books above. It's maddening. I'm been searching for me for a long time. I'm not sure where me went. The me that exists is grumpy, jaded, negative, self conscience, annoyed, unreliable, and short tempered. I'm not a fan of the current me. In fact I can't stand her. It's not fun to be any of those things. So I am hunting for me. Not the old one, just me. The one who is comfortable in her own skin. The one who enjoys people. The one who thrives in routine. The one who reads for pleasure, avoids the couch and tv. The one who loves preparing a good meal and sharing it with friends. The one who you find outside, soaking in the sun, exploring something new, cautious but brave.